I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
