i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize