those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He passed out mid-signature
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
