So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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