last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
