there's paper in my vomit.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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