It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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