The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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