They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
