why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
