Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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