i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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