I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You're like the curious george of whores
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
