Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
