I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
