We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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