Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
