i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
