you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
