a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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