we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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