hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drunk is a universal language darling
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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