She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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