i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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