I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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