You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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