You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
