Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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