New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
