Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
