Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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