There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
