hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize