That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
