at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
