I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
