Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it glows. i had to have it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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