I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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