i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
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Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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