Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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