he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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