they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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