Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
