i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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