Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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