The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize