I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
