u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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