its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
