the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
