I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize