I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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