K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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