I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
