I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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