We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
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Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..