Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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(540): View more from Virginia

my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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(480): View more from Arizona

it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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(949): View more from California

am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?

(415): View more from California

i thought you knew

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.

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(817): View more from Texas

I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.

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(432): View more from Texas

At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba

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