its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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