last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
