You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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