I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
