Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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