Your mouth is God's brothel.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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