hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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